Let BK be the first to say: “I told you so!” And with a “So help me God…” Bob is sworn in as president of Zimland again. Let’s join the rest of the world in pointing fingers and saying it’s not free, it’s not fair and we’re going to do nothing about it. And we will say no more about that matter…after all – what did you expect was going to happen?

Let’s rejoice in the prospect of a Springbok – All Blacks rugby game this weekend: may the best team win. Let’s look forward to another day living in a country where we can walk the streets without fear, live in houses without burglar bars, park our cars outside, send the kids to the park on their own – here’s a toast to living in a first world country!

Many people ask BK about his family and where he grew up – while we all know BK is a GM boytjie (that’s Groot Marico for those of you that don’t know, which in no way relates to the size of the town, but to the Marico River), it is fair to say that BK is quite well-travelled. After a carefree childhood on the farm where the highlight of the week was the trip to town to do the banking at the FNB (next to the Information Centre in the main street) BK spent some time in Mafikeng and Zeerust too. But the big city life got too much and BK went back to the farming again.

BK’s family is still there – for those of you that know the people of the area: Groot Koos and his wife on the farm next to oom Koos Kakebeen, down the river from Klein Koos’s farm. Look them up when you are in the area – while the biggest attraction is the Herman Charles Bosman Literary Society, don’t forget to do the Mampoer toer and the Battlefields tour if you are interested in such things. Say hello to Popo too – tell him BK still thinks his mother had a good sense of humour!

Bosveldgroete!

Having just returned from the warm weather of the Gold Coast in Springhaasland, the cold here in Kiwiland seems to be a little colder than before the holiday. You can say that it’s mid-June and the weather gets colder, or that the short holiday in warmer climates have made the cold here just a little more unbearable, but BK believes that it is nature’s way of telling him that warm-blooded Boerseuns weren’t made to live in this kind of cold!

They (you know who they are, cause “they” always say…) well, they say that the coldest day is 6 weeks after the shortest day, which means it’s going to get colder still until August – hopefully not as cold as last year!

When arriving back here, the cold wind wasn’t the only thing that struck BK – it is also the number of “winkels” that are closed, closing or for sale. And while BK understands that it is a worldwide thing – food shortages and higher oil prices, it is sad to see how many people are driven to take drastic actions to keep “kop-bo-water”. The newspapers say the groceries have gone up by 30% from the beginning of the year, house sales have dropped to under 10%, and families are selling their second cars. The petrol price increased by 6 cents and then another 6 cents while BK was away for less than a week (shows you what happens when BK’s not here to keep things under control) and now sits at $2.12 per litre for the cheap stuff. And while BK’s friend Jacques says that it’s a cycle, it seems to be worse than the last time. But we can’t stop eating, and somehow we have to get to work – so tighten those belts a notch and push on, it will get better again!

Bosveldgroete!

Looking out over the beautiful Hauraki Gulf here in Kiwiland reminds BK again how lucky we are to be here. You know how powerful mind over matter is, and when you stare out the window long enough at the sun shining on the beautiful, flat water, you actually start convincing yourself that it’s not freezing outside, if you know what I mean! Yes, it’s winter here, as everywhere else in the bottom half of the world, and while I imagine that it can’t be much colder anywhere else, I know the worst is yet to come.

BK has been here a few winters and knows how lucky we are to have had such a long, warm summer – so much so that it still lingers on when the icy wind from the south doesn’t blow. But heaven help you when the wind comes up – blowing over the snow on the mountains and racing all the way north to Auckland to steal your breath the moment you step outside. How quickly the memories fade! Standing in front of the coal stove with clouds of breath on a cold Groot Marico morning, but all we remember are the hot summer days when the sonbesies drive you mad and the heat shimmers off the sand.

No wonder BK is on his way to Springhaas land again to visit friends and make the most of the lovely climate. The white sands and the blue waters beckons, and the beer promises to be as cold as a mountain stream. A short break to wash away the winter blues and recharge for the cold months lying ahead – also to check out the property prices and open a bank account over there, but don’t tell a soul – maybe BK has let the cat out of the bag a little too soon!

Bosveldgroete!

While BK does not promote himself as a know-it-all when it comes to economic matters, and by no means claims to be a financial expert, it does from time to time become necessary to take a stand and make a comment – when you feel strongly about something or someone doing you in, so to speak. And sometimes it just happens to be that the parties involved are the “goewerment” and the taxman.

Now, when you count the coins left in your “broeksak” at the end of the week, and you find less there than there used to be, then you start looking for a reason. Especially if you don’t find any new tools in the garage, mostly on account of the fact that you haven’t bought any for yourself lately. And no toys either (toys for big boys, you understand?)– no new cars, no holidays, no fancy dinners and nothing that you can at this time remember having spent money on. Then you have to start looking elsewhere, and pretty soon you start finding where the money went…

The petrol price increased again and is now nearly $2 a litre, the groceries have gone up by 28% (no, that’s not a typing error – 28%), the rent has increased again and the interest rate has gone up (again)! The only thing that hasn’t gone up is the bus tickets, thank goodness. Well, no that’s not exactly true – the salaries hasn’t gone up either (2.5% is not up in BK’s books when the inflation is higher than that).

D.J. Opperman said it very nicely: “My nooi is in ’n nartjie, my ouma in kaneel, daar’s iemand … iemand in anys, daar’s ’n vrou in elke geur!” when he wrote his poem “Sproeireën”, and although BK is not a great reader of poetry as such, this poem came to mind many, many years after reading it at school. The reason probably is that it is so true – every now and again you smell a flavour that reminds you of somebody or something. BK recently purchased moth balls (apparently they keep the cats out of the garden – a problem which we can discuss at another time) and when opening the packet was immediately transformed back to our old “strandhuis”.

We visited there only twice a year – June holidays and then of course for “”Kersfees” – the summer holidays that seemed to last forever. But when you open the door after having been closed up for a while, the smell that first hits you is the smell of the moth balls – keeping the “silwermotte” out of the cupboards and away from the wallpaper that they seem to be so fond of eating. It immediately takes you away to that world and all the memories, if only for a second. But it makes you remember, even if just for a little while.

The smell of freshly sawn dry wood, the smell of sawdust takes BK back to the days when us kids were playing around in the woodwork class after school, while Dad was making all kinds of furniture – “geelhout”, “stinkhout”, “patryshout” – all kinds of different flavours, but all the same.

Can you remember the flavours of the preparations involved for the “kerkbasaar”? Fudge and rusks, toffee apples and candy floss. On the day the smell of the ox braai and pancakes…

Or when you start up your boat, does the smell of the two-stroke smoke remind you of your first “fifty” and the freedom that represented?

Does the diesel from the trucks on the highway remind you of long convoys of Samils taking troopies back and forth?

Whenever the next smell takes you away, stop and visit there for a moment longer before coming back!

Bosveldgroete!

Bk had to laugh at the ridiculousness of it – the “election” in Zimbabwe has turned into exactly what we all expected: Mugabe is running Operation Makavhoterapapi (“api” meaning where, and “makavhote” is a bastardization of “make a vote” – just with the “African” spelling) meaning where did you vote (or where did you make your cross, really). It’s is meant to rally support for Bob, but we all know it is intimidation of the worst kind – even so far as to kill opposition supporters in plain sight. BK told you what the result of the election will be… The only way Zim will ever be rid of Bob is the day he kicks the bucket, if you know what I mean, and it very much looks like it will be of natural causes. I mean, if someone wanted to take matters into their own hands, they would and should have done so years and years ago. Thank you again to the Western world for their hands off policy – leaving Africa to the Africans – just the way it should be. But if by some miracle they discovered oil in Zim tomorrow, it will be a different story – you would have to beat GW off with a stick to keep him out!

Talking of sticks, BK sees there is a new magazine out in New Zealand (on the North Shore of Auckland, actually), called the South African. Lead article by John Key, of course. While we all know what National’s feelings are towards immigrants (and they make it look like it’s aimed at the yellow folk, but the definition of an immigrant is the same for all of us) it seems strange that JK now rallies for the Rainbow vote – with tens of thousands here in Kiwiland with a population of only 4 million, it could mean the difference between winning and losing an election. So BK’s question is this: what will Sexy Helen do to win our vote back? Time to smooch the SA’s – haal uit en wys – we can be bought, but we don’t come cheap!

Bosveldgroete!

Having been here in the land of Fonterra milk and Manuka honey for three years now, the time has come for BK to apply for citizenship – mostly as a result of a choice between this and renewing his SA passport. As you can see the choice was pre-determined by circumstances, so to speak. While the SA goewerment asks all kinds of uncomfortable questions, like “where do you currently live” and “how long before you will be returning to SA”, the Kiwi department of internal affairs only wants a copy of your passport and your $460 application fee.

The application was posted, the money promptly taken electronically and a week later a letter arrived to confirm that they have received the application and will be handling the matter over the next 6 months. This was not much of a concern to BK, because while we are still enjoying the long and unseasonal (so to speak) warm weather, the cold months are coming and BK will be hibernating for the next 6 months anyway! No, the unsettling matter was that although BK supplied a completed application form (in neat handwriting) and a copy of his passport, birth certificate and many, many other supporting documentation, they still managed to address the letter to Mr Bosvelddoos… Fortunately the matter was quickly resolved via that miracle of modern communication, the e-mail!

Bosveldgroete!

BK recently received an e-mail that looked very familiar – it was a petition to which you could add your name to stop the violence in South Africa. Every time 500 signatures have been added, it will be sent to T-Bone himself. Then BK remembered where he had seen this before – the same e-mail circulated last year this time, and the year before… While BK is all for stopping the violence, it is still a mystery how this e-mail would achieve the advertised goal.

Maybe it was just to make people feel like they are making a difference – BK cannot see that it could have any other effect. Did the writer of the original e-mail expect T-Bone to take any kind of action (except for laughing his head off and having another “dop”)? Or were they so naïve as to think that T-Bone will even see this e-mail?

BK is of the opinion that the longer change does not happen, the bigger the change that happens will be, if you know what I mean. And with the elections in Zimbabwe looming and no chance of a change of leadership, the elections in SA looming and no chance of Zuma (Jacob, not Nkosazana Dlamini) not being the next president, and the increasing violence, electricity, land ownership, farm murders and other problems, it seems like die Vaderland is a powder keg with a lit fuse.

But then BK reads in the newspaper that less people are now opposed to Zuma’s leadership as in the previous survey – and it saddens BK to think that in the same way SA were brainwashed prior to the first democratic elections, people are now brainwashed to accept a non-educated rapist with criminal associations to be the next president. The same way as we were told that the next government will be a “government of national unity” (GNU – remember that?) and that we are now all part of the “rainbow nation” and that “the people of the south” should stand together, win the rugby world cup, and unite under an umbrella of Ubuntu, the same way were are now told that everything will be ok, electricity will be restored, we will host a successful Soccer World Cup and Zuma will be a good president to lead South Africa for the next few years…

Bosveldgroete!

Bk was never one to worry about age, you know. But with one of the landmark birthdays creeping up (BK will NEVER admit which one!), certain philosophical thoughts comes to mind.

You know when you’re a laaitie you look forward to the day you turn 16 – that was when you could get your learners licence for a car. Those days we never worried much about motorbike licences, because the “fifties” we had were no more than glorified scooters and the traffic cops never stopped us anyway. They were after much bigger fry – those few times a laaitie would “borrow” his Dad’s car without a licence to pick up (and impress!) a girl.

The next big thing was of course when you turned 21 – everybody I knew got a big golden key with a 21 on it. But that was not the prize – it was independence! I guess we considered that the age of freedom – if you wanted to, you could now do anything you wanted – without permission from your parents. In reality, your freedom was really determined by the amount of money in your pocket, if you know what I mean!

Then there’s turning 30 – way back then it was the time when a young man’s thoughts turned to marriage – especially because all the friends around you have settled down with a wife and started paying a mortgage, car repayments and all the other things that comes with a steady job and a regular paycheck. While life is not always as we expect, and BK has led a life less ordinary (to say the least!), the 30’s were nevertheless a time of growth, both in finances and around the stomach area!

They say life starts at 40 – the kids are usually out of the house, salaries are higher and mortgages lower. More time to travel and experience the world. Spend more time and energy chasing those dreams you had when you were 20 but too poor to do.

At 50 of course, the thoughts turn to retirement and how little time one has to recoup all the money spent on Harleys and sports cars in your forties! When it takes you all night to do what you used to do all night, if you know what I mean! When everything creaks and pops when you get out of bed, and you know that is the best you will feel all day…

60, they say, is the new 50 – with all the advances in medicine and healthier food, we will all live to be over 100. The problem is what to do with those 40 years without a salary and barely enough get up and go to get up and go!

Bosveldgroete!

Like BK always says: “When it’s going good, it’s good, but when it’s going bad, all the other problems comes out.” BK recently came to the realization that us Saffers are not as welcome here in Kiwiland as what we thought. What with the elections coming up and the uncertainty that goes hand in hand with that, combined with the bottom dropping out of the house market, the fuel prices going through the roof, the interest rate going up, BK gets the feeling that locals tend to be less friendly towards us.

Like a dog that is always friendly and wagging his tail when you’re around, the moment you are around the corner, it gets up on the kitchen table and steals your steak off your plate. And when it gets backed into a corner, the fear and uncertainty makes it bark and bite – a totally different animal.

And in a way, BK can understand this – here’s all these new people invading their country, threatening their lifestyle and taking their jobs – working harder and happy with less pay. Nothing unites a people like adversity… What would you do? Also refuse to appoint Saffers to high level jobs? Not socialize with them? Not accept them into your circle of friends? Smile in their faces and ridicule them behind their backs –and when you vastly outnumber them, make fun of them in front of your fellow Kiwis?

BK likes to think that you wouldn’t – that is not our way. So smile your smiles, make the small-talk and at the end of the day, take your paycheck and don’t be surprised when you end up with more SA friends than Kiwis.

Bosveldgroete!