bosvBK always thought “citizen” is a newspaper in Josie for the dark side – which reminds me of the time when I was on a plane and the new South Africa flight attendant asked me whether I want the “white pepper or de black pepper”, so I told him to bring me the Transvaler, cause I don’t read the Citizen. But recently BK got a letter from the NZ “goewerment” saying “Congratulations! The minister of internal affairs has approved your application for citizenship.” So I figured it must mean that I can now become a “landsburger” of this country. And just in time too, because my old South African passport is about to expire.

Some people have asked BK what happens when you get your Australian or New Zealand citizenship, BK being knowledgeable about the affairs of state, so to speak. So here’s what I’ve found out so far: you can have your new passport and let the old SA one expire, which means you become a citizen of the new country. Or you can renew your old passport, and apply for “dual citizenship”, meaning you have both. Why you would want to do this, BK does not know. But here is where it gets tricky – when you visit the old country and your old SA passport has not expired yet, and you are not a “dual citizen”, you must enter on your old SA passport, or get a fine for R20 000 (which is only about $200?). So BK thinks it is better to keep the old passport until it expires, but it’s not necessary to apply for a new one – it takes a year and costs a lot of money and effort. They ask you all kinds of questions about where your parents are, when you’re coming back to South Africa and such-like. So better to avoid having to go through all that just so you can have two passports?

But of course everybody’s different in what they want – some might call BK a “verraaier”, some might still hang on to the hope of someday returning to a *NEW!* and *IMPROVED!* South Africa – each to his (or her) own. Let’s just say regardless of what papers you have in your hand, home is where the heart is!

Bosveldgroete!

PS: Good luck trying to visit SA on a foreign passport when your old SA one has expired! You try to explain that to the squeeza sitting at the customs desk!

Should BK dare? Should he stick his neck out and risk his reputation as a Bobaas-weervoorspeller? I’m not saying BK is a Siener van Rensburg or anything, but my skills in the weather forecasting department is known all over the Groot Marico and even as far as the Highveld. And weather is weather, right? How much different can it be here than there, or in the land of the giant springhase?

Admittedly, since moving here, BK has found out that the weather is not all predictable – there’s that Spanish chap, Al Ninjo, that messes things up. And he has a sister too – La Nina. If BK reads this interweb thing right, it seems as if La Nina has been messing with the weather the past year or so, but has now decided to leave things alone. That’s why we’re getting al the right weather for this time of the year – westerly winds and lots and lots of rain. So hopefully things go back to normal and we won’t have drought again this summer.

But back to the prediction – it seems a little lighter outside in the mornings and the heater hasn’t been on for a week now. BK thinks that except for a few cold snaps, the weather will start getting warmer now, and we can expect spring in September to October. It might just be false hope, like a handshake between Bob and Morgan, but I hope not!

Bosveldgroete!

I tell you, the oil price even looks like it might go up, then the petrol companies increase the petrol price. But when the oil price drops like it did the last few days, all you get from the petrol companies are silence. BK wants to know – why is the oil price increase immediately followed by petrol price increases, like the 6 cents per litre earlier in the week, but the petrol price never comes down when the oil price drops?

BK might not be a “perfesser” of science, but I do have a theory or two. It’s called the “Wurggreep teorie” or I guess in the Rooitaal you can call it the “Chokehold theory”. And it works like this: the sellers of goods, in this case the petrol companies, but it also holds true for the groceries, electricity, rent and all other types of expenses, will raise their prices by small amounts until they see the consumer making alternative plans – you know like when Piet Smit se winkel put their prices up, you shop at the Rooinek’s place, Riley’s, even though you don’t like to collaborate with the enemy, if you know what I mean. This is the chokehold, see? So when the people start taking buses, cycling, walking or whatever rather than buying petrol, they know that this is the limit of how far they can choke – the consumer is now all red in the face like. Then they relax the grip, that is they lower the price just by a little bit. So the consumer is still breathing, but only just. And that is how they determine the price of petrol.

But then in a week or two, when the consumer (me and you) starts to think: “This is not so bad, I can still breathe at least” – that’s when they tighten the grip again. And the process starts all over again. Now, this goes hand in hand with the Parra teorie, which, unlike you might think, has to do with boiling frogs. If you increase the temperature of the water slow enough, the attention span of the frog is so short, that it can only think that the water is not much warmer than it was a few moments ago. If it could remember further back, it would realise that the water is now a lot warmer than 5 minutes ago. And so it keeps on thinking that the water is ok, because it is not much hotter until it actually boils. At no point does it think the water is now so much hotter than before that it jumps out. Now you are clever, I know…so I won’t point out how that story relates to us…

Bosveldgroete!

Let BK be the first to say: “I told you so!” And with a “So help me God…” Bob is sworn in as president of Zimland again. Let’s join the rest of the world in pointing fingers and saying it’s not free, it’s not fair and we’re going to do nothing about it. And we will say no more about that matter…after all – what did you expect was going to happen?

Let’s rejoice in the prospect of a Springbok – All Blacks rugby game this weekend: may the best team win. Let’s look forward to another day living in a country where we can walk the streets without fear, live in houses without burglar bars, park our cars outside, send the kids to the park on their own – here’s a toast to living in a first world country!

Many people ask BK about his family and where he grew up – while we all know BK is a GM boytjie (that’s Groot Marico for those of you that don’t know, which in no way relates to the size of the town, but to the Marico River), it is fair to say that BK is quite well-travelled. After a carefree childhood on the farm where the highlight of the week was the trip to town to do the banking at the FNB (next to the Information Centre in the main street) BK spent some time in Mafikeng and Zeerust too. But the big city life got too much and BK went back to the farming again.

BK’s family is still there – for those of you that know the people of the area: Groot Koos and his wife on the farm next to oom Koos Kakebeen, down the river from Klein Koos’s farm. Look them up when you are in the area – while the biggest attraction is the Herman Charles Bosman Literary Society, don’t forget to do the Mampoer toer and the Battlefields tour if you are interested in such things. Say hello to Popo too – tell him BK still thinks his mother had a good sense of humour!

Bosveldgroete!

Having just returned from the warm weather of the Gold Coast in Springhaasland, the cold here in Kiwiland seems to be a little colder than before the holiday. You can say that it’s mid-June and the weather gets colder, or that the short holiday in warmer climates have made the cold here just a little more unbearable, but BK believes that it is nature’s way of telling him that warm-blooded Boerseuns weren’t made to live in this kind of cold!

They (you know who they are, cause “they” always say…) well, they say that the coldest day is 6 weeks after the shortest day, which means it’s going to get colder still until August – hopefully not as cold as last year!

When arriving back here, the cold wind wasn’t the only thing that struck BK – it is also the number of “winkels” that are closed, closing or for sale. And while BK understands that it is a worldwide thing – food shortages and higher oil prices, it is sad to see how many people are driven to take drastic actions to keep “kop-bo-water”. The newspapers say the groceries have gone up by 30% from the beginning of the year, house sales have dropped to under 10%, and families are selling their second cars. The petrol price increased by 6 cents and then another 6 cents while BK was away for less than a week (shows you what happens when BK’s not here to keep things under control) and now sits at $2.12 per litre for the cheap stuff. And while BK’s friend Jacques says that it’s a cycle, it seems to be worse than the last time. But we can’t stop eating, and somehow we have to get to work – so tighten those belts a notch and push on, it will get better again!

Bosveldgroete!

Looking out over the beautiful Hauraki Gulf here in Kiwiland reminds BK again how lucky we are to be here. You know how powerful mind over matter is, and when you stare out the window long enough at the sun shining on the beautiful, flat water, you actually start convincing yourself that it’s not freezing outside, if you know what I mean! Yes, it’s winter here, as everywhere else in the bottom half of the world, and while I imagine that it can’t be much colder anywhere else, I know the worst is yet to come.

BK has been here a few winters and knows how lucky we are to have had such a long, warm summer – so much so that it still lingers on when the icy wind from the south doesn’t blow. But heaven help you when the wind comes up – blowing over the snow on the mountains and racing all the way north to Auckland to steal your breath the moment you step outside. How quickly the memories fade! Standing in front of the coal stove with clouds of breath on a cold Groot Marico morning, but all we remember are the hot summer days when the sonbesies drive you mad and the heat shimmers off the sand.

No wonder BK is on his way to Springhaas land again to visit friends and make the most of the lovely climate. The white sands and the blue waters beckons, and the beer promises to be as cold as a mountain stream. A short break to wash away the winter blues and recharge for the cold months lying ahead – also to check out the property prices and open a bank account over there, but don’t tell a soul – maybe BK has let the cat out of the bag a little too soon!

Bosveldgroete!

While BK does not promote himself as a know-it-all when it comes to economic matters, and by no means claims to be a financial expert, it does from time to time become necessary to take a stand and make a comment – when you feel strongly about something or someone doing you in, so to speak. And sometimes it just happens to be that the parties involved are the “goewerment” and the taxman.

Now, when you count the coins left in your “broeksak” at the end of the week, and you find less there than there used to be, then you start looking for a reason. Especially if you don’t find any new tools in the garage, mostly on account of the fact that you haven’t bought any for yourself lately. And no toys either (toys for big boys, you understand?)– no new cars, no holidays, no fancy dinners and nothing that you can at this time remember having spent money on. Then you have to start looking elsewhere, and pretty soon you start finding where the money went…

The petrol price increased again and is now nearly $2 a litre, the groceries have gone up by 28% (no, that’s not a typing error – 28%), the rent has increased again and the interest rate has gone up (again)! The only thing that hasn’t gone up is the bus tickets, thank goodness. Well, no that’s not exactly true – the salaries hasn’t gone up either (2.5% is not up in BK’s books when the inflation is higher than that).

D.J. Opperman said it very nicely: “My nooi is in ’n nartjie, my ouma in kaneel, daar’s iemand … iemand in anys, daar’s ’n vrou in elke geur!” when he wrote his poem “Sproeireën”, and although BK is not a great reader of poetry as such, this poem came to mind many, many years after reading it at school. The reason probably is that it is so true – every now and again you smell a flavour that reminds you of somebody or something. BK recently purchased moth balls (apparently they keep the cats out of the garden – a problem which we can discuss at another time) and when opening the packet was immediately transformed back to our old “strandhuis”.

We visited there only twice a year – June holidays and then of course for “”Kersfees” – the summer holidays that seemed to last forever. But when you open the door after having been closed up for a while, the smell that first hits you is the smell of the moth balls – keeping the “silwermotte” out of the cupboards and away from the wallpaper that they seem to be so fond of eating. It immediately takes you away to that world and all the memories, if only for a second. But it makes you remember, even if just for a little while.

The smell of freshly sawn dry wood, the smell of sawdust takes BK back to the days when us kids were playing around in the woodwork class after school, while Dad was making all kinds of furniture – “geelhout”, “stinkhout”, “patryshout” – all kinds of different flavours, but all the same.

Can you remember the flavours of the preparations involved for the “kerkbasaar”? Fudge and rusks, toffee apples and candy floss. On the day the smell of the ox braai and pancakes…

Or when you start up your boat, does the smell of the two-stroke smoke remind you of your first “fifty” and the freedom that represented?

Does the diesel from the trucks on the highway remind you of long convoys of Samils taking troopies back and forth?

Whenever the next smell takes you away, stop and visit there for a moment longer before coming back!

Bosveldgroete!

Bk had to laugh at the ridiculousness of it – the “election” in Zimbabwe has turned into exactly what we all expected: Mugabe is running Operation Makavhoterapapi (“api” meaning where, and “makavhote” is a bastardization of “make a vote” – just with the “African” spelling) meaning where did you vote (or where did you make your cross, really). It’s is meant to rally support for Bob, but we all know it is intimidation of the worst kind – even so far as to kill opposition supporters in plain sight. BK told you what the result of the election will be… The only way Zim will ever be rid of Bob is the day he kicks the bucket, if you know what I mean, and it very much looks like it will be of natural causes. I mean, if someone wanted to take matters into their own hands, they would and should have done so years and years ago. Thank you again to the Western world for their hands off policy – leaving Africa to the Africans – just the way it should be. But if by some miracle they discovered oil in Zim tomorrow, it will be a different story – you would have to beat GW off with a stick to keep him out!

Talking of sticks, BK sees there is a new magazine out in New Zealand (on the North Shore of Auckland, actually), called the South African. Lead article by John Key, of course. While we all know what National’s feelings are towards immigrants (and they make it look like it’s aimed at the yellow folk, but the definition of an immigrant is the same for all of us) it seems strange that JK now rallies for the Rainbow vote – with tens of thousands here in Kiwiland with a population of only 4 million, it could mean the difference between winning and losing an election. So BK’s question is this: what will Sexy Helen do to win our vote back? Time to smooch the SA’s – haal uit en wys – we can be bought, but we don’t come cheap!

Bosveldgroete!

Having been here in the land of Fonterra milk and Manuka honey for three years now, the time has come for BK to apply for citizenship – mostly as a result of a choice between this and renewing his SA passport. As you can see the choice was pre-determined by circumstances, so to speak. While the SA goewerment asks all kinds of uncomfortable questions, like “where do you currently live” and “how long before you will be returning to SA”, the Kiwi department of internal affairs only wants a copy of your passport and your $460 application fee.

The application was posted, the money promptly taken electronically and a week later a letter arrived to confirm that they have received the application and will be handling the matter over the next 6 months. This was not much of a concern to BK, because while we are still enjoying the long and unseasonal (so to speak) warm weather, the cold months are coming and BK will be hibernating for the next 6 months anyway! No, the unsettling matter was that although BK supplied a completed application form (in neat handwriting) and a copy of his passport, birth certificate and many, many other supporting documentation, they still managed to address the letter to Mr Bosvelddoos… Fortunately the matter was quickly resolved via that miracle of modern communication, the e-mail!

Bosveldgroete!